Her anger choked the room like the bad cologne of an awkward teen boy.  It was suffocating.  It was hard to resist.

I wanted to like her.  I wanted to help her.

At one point she looked at me with eyes that screamed, “This is bullshit and you know it!”  I looked away.

What is bullshit is  your refusal to use the power that you have.  Which sounds a lot like victim blaming to me. I know a lot about victim blaming.  I hear it all the time.  She provoked him.  Why doesn’t she leave?  Why is she so pissed off?  Why isn’t she pissed off?

It’s rare that a victim of domestic or sexual violence can ever do anything right.

At least according to the larger society of the United States.

It sucks.

Yes, she is pissed.  She is so pissed that she is now making decisions that  are actually hurting her and hurting her children. She has a wall that I’m not sure that I can break through.

I understand why she’s pissed.  I understand why she drinks.  I understand why she uses drugs.  What I want to know is, how do I help her to discover her own power?  How do I help her to see that she has power in the choices she makes from here on out?  That her choices can turn everything around?


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